Monday, 22 November 2010


Something to make you smile :-)

 ( I've stolen it from another website - had a good fun reading it 
and actually had to agree with most of it :-))

1. You start to think about having your first ever holiday in Thailand:

- Thailand is somewhere in Asia.
- Consists of Bangkok and the islands: Pattaya and Phuket.
- People who live there are cheap prostitutes and people who earn three dollars a year.
- There are many palm trees, terrible diseases like malaria, tsunamis, and Thai massage.
- People live mostly in the jungle and ride an elephant.
- Bangkok is the ghetto of Asia.
- We can't take our kids there with us, as it's too far, it's Third World country so i won't be able to find any nappies, and there are too many insects.

2. You have just booked your first holiday
in Thailand.

- I am going to Pattaya to learn about Thai culture and Thai way of life..
- Shall we take an umbrella? It must be a rainy season over there..
- Let's pack some socks.
- What about their health system? Let's take a bag of medicines, just in case thay don't have hospitals.
- We must have all vaccinations done before we go, plus don't forget malaria tablets.
- Where in Thailand can you eat?
- Still wondering when the rainy season is there and what clothes to take...
- It's always too hot there, so we will need many change of clothes, let's take a couple of suitcases...
- We should only use water from the bottles which are properly sealed and we always have to check where they get their ice.

3. You have arrived in Thailand.
- Is it actually Thailand? Too modern and beautiful. Where is all the ghettos?
- Taxi to the town 400 baht, dinner for two 2,000 Baht - cheap! Shall I move here to live?
- That girl is so tall, slim and beautiful...what's wrong with her voice...
- Everybody smiles at me, but no one asks for money. Strange..
- I can't leave my bike like that on the street...It will definitely be stolen...It needs to be tied up to something..
- Help! There are too many insects here and yesterday one cockroach flew into my room.. They actually fly here!

4. You are leaving Thailand and going home.

- We could eat for 50 baht the food, which we have never dreamt of at home......
- Why the hell did we bring here all these suitcases full of stuff? We could buy cheap clothes and then throw it away...
- 200 baht for a tuk-tuk? No way, you are mad!
- How these people earn three dollars a year and drive one of those huge jeeps? Something isn't right...
- Why do they have good roads and nobody steals?

5. You've just moved to Thailand.

- Great food, cheap, and most importantly - available absolutely everywhere...
- Houses for rent are very affordable and good quality..
- Thai language has too many tones, it's impossible to learn..
- The shops are full of cheap stuff...Great! I will do shopping every day!
- I asked for a double latte, no sugar, the girl nodded three times, smiled, went into the kitchen, brought me a cappuccino with cream and sugar, what the heck?
- Taxi costs nothing but I think I need to buy a car and a motorcycle.
- I urgently need to open a bar, restaurant, or a small resort. I can earn lots of money really fast. Wonder why no one thought of it before...
- The beer is so good and cheap here.

6. You have been living in Thailand for a short while.
- Where shall I go to eat? I am fed up with Khao Pad Moo and Pad Thai, I think I will go to that Korean on the corner...
- Why everything is so expensive? This dish is not worth 5 dollars, it's a pure rip-off!
- I don't want Coke, give me that plastic jug with water and a cup of ice and a straw
- I know ten phrases in Thai. Why do they pretend that they don't understand me?
- It's actually very easy to get a girl for a little money, just don't look like a silly farang..
- I understand, when my girl says "my friend you" or "he say she no good"
- I don't care about the menu anymore, I just pronounce the name of Thai dishes in Thai... whatever they bring - I eat it.
- My business is built, now I am sure that the money will flow like a river. Let's open a bank account!
- I don't understand why do we, European, need kitchen at home... Food is everywhere.
- Geckos - my little friends. They eat insects.
- They didn't bring the ice for my beer/red wine? They are not trained properly...

7. You have been living in Thailand for a few years.

- The best place to meet a Thai girl is in the food court near our office in a lunch time, it's free!
- One Thai girl lives in your house and you no longer think about where to get food.
- You nearly forgot how to speak in English, but your Thai hasn't improved at all.
- You can walk around in anything. You're farang, you can wear even weird things...
- The business is not bringing any profit and you have been trying to sell it for nearly a year already without any success.
- Shorts for 100 baht - rip off!
- Yesterday was 28 degrees, very cold, and your Thai lady put on three layers of clothing
- Beer? What beer? Sang Som with soda and M150 ..
- You season vegetables with salt and pepper
- You drive only barefoot or maybe sometimes in flip-flops, when it's really cold...
- You have difficulty remembering the current month and you stopped linking it with the words "winter, spring, summer, autumn"
- Indian tailors ignore you when you walk past.
- You know the Thai national anthem better than your own, as it is played before each movie in a cinema and twice a day on the radio

8. You come back home

- You are so excited you can wear jackets and boots again!
- You can't leave your shower- the pressure is so good and you can control the temperature!
- You can actually download big movies - the speed is great!
- You are using your baby stroller again and wearing high heels at the same time!
- You are surprised to discover that the toilet paper - it's a toilet paper, not cloth on the table.
- On the second day, you already start missing Thai food.
- It's actually terribly cold outside.
- Why there are no decent cheap places to eat? Where do all these people eat?
- The people don't really get it when you smile to them... On the third day you also stop smiling.
- Where have all the motorbikes gone? Have they ever been here.. or not?
- Why the people in the passport office are so rude? Aren't they scared to lose their face?
- Where can I get some chilli to chew?
- Sorry, how much did you say is this cup of tea? No, no,'s ridiculous, I don't believe you...I will stick to water...
- You can't wait to go back to Thailand...


  1. Love this...I guess we are half way down the list ie looking forward to kids all off at uni at spending months/years in Samui.....already feeling ripped off at the current exchange rate but hitting reality when we eat out in the UK !!

  2. Yeah..sounds similar....My oldest one was finally off at uni...Then I had another one in Thaland :-))))))))))))

  3. OK...Now you're scaring me !! definitely looking for a peaceful early retirement....just bought a travel cot to bring out for some guests next week and my kids are starting to panic !!

  4. would you mind placing the backlink please ))

  5. To be honest I don't know where originally it came from - some lady wrote it in one Russian group about Thailand on the Russian website...So, I translated :-)

  6. Вот- наконец нашла: